The choice nobody explains properly, explained properly.
Most parents comparing child care are given two options and a price. What they are rarely given is a straight account of how the options differ, and which kind of family each one suits. So here is mine, including the parts that do not favour me.
There are three kinds of care, not two
A center
A building, classrooms grouped by age, several staff, and a director. Licensed, structured, and open long hours.
A family child care home
One licensed provider, one small mixed-age group, in a house. Licensed and inspected, like a center, but at one sixth the scale.
A nanny or sitter
One adult, in your home, caring only for your children. Unlicensed and uninspected, because it is a private arrangement.
Family child care sits in the middle and gets described badly by both sides. It is its own licensed category, with trade-offs that run in both directions.
An honest comparison
Where a center is better
- Longer hours. I close at 4:00. Many centers run to 6:00, and for a lot of working parents that alone decides it.
- Never closes unexpectedly. When I am sick, my husband covers or you need your back-up. A center always has another adult.
- More children the same age. If your child wants a room of four-year-olds, a center has one.
- More space and equipment. Bigger rooms, more of everything.
Where this is better
- The same person, every year. No September handover to a new teacher who does not know your child yet.
- Six children. I notice the day your child goes quiet, because there is no version of this where I do not.
- Mixed ages. The little ones copy the big ones and the big ones learn to be gentle, which is how families work and how classrooms do not.
- Meals cooked in the room they eat in. Not delivered, not reheated from a contract kitchen.
- One set of rules. Yours and mine, agreed between us, rather than a policy handed down.
If the hours do not work, take the center. I would rather tell you that at your visit than have you strain against a 4:00 pick-up for a year. The right care is the one that fits the life you have.
Private care is a partnership, not a service
This is the part that differs, and it is the reason I ask for a visit before anything else.
At a center you are a customer. There is a policy, you sign it, and the policy answers most questions before you ask them. That has advantages: it is consistent, and it does not depend on whether two people get along.
Here, you are agreeing to raise a child alongside someone, more than you are buying a service. When your two-year-old starts biting, we work out the response together and then we both use it, at home and here. When potty training starts, we agree the words first so your child hears the same ones in both houses. When something is not working, one of us says so.
That arrangement is better than a policy when it works, and worse than one when it does not. It asks something of you that a center does not: that you tell me the awkward things, promptly, and that you expect the same from me.
What I owe you
The truth about your child’s day, including the parts you would rather not hear, on the day it happens rather than at a review.
What I ask of you
That you tell me what is going on at home. A new baby, a bad night, a separation. I cannot help with what I do not know.
What we both owe your child
The same answer in both houses. Children do far better when the rules do not change depending on who is in the room.
Who this suits
Families who want their child known rather than supervised, who can work within a 7:00 to 4:00 day, and who would rather solve a problem in a conversation than through a policy. Families who like the idea of their child having brothers and sisters who are not theirs.
If that is you, come and see the place. If it is not, I will tell you so, and I would rather do that in April than in October.